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Saving files in deep directories where no one would think of finding them. But there is also an aspect of absurdity about this whole thing.

Over the years I’d made online contacts who had similar “interests” as me.

My advice to those who are in the early steps of this sin is to never give into the temptation to “go to the next level.” If you admire pretty girls, thats bad, but not as bad as searching for porn on the web.

I’ve prayed those prayers in the middle of the night when i thought to myself, “man, i wish i could pray with that much khushoo’ in every salaah” and i made salaam and thought i’d never return to that sin, but then a week, or two weeks later, i was back at it.

I will deliberately be vague in some of what i say so that no one finds out who i am. What fanned the flames of desire was access to the internet.

When i was new to the sin, i would never have dared to buy a dirty mag from the local store out of a sense of shame and embarrassment.

In some ways, my own story over the past 10 years mirrors that.

My addiction began as something small, but step by step over 10 years, it has transformed into something which is at times uncontrollable.

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